Taqwa

Japanese scientist: We need to devise a way to freeze Gamera.
Lucas: Get me an Ice-breaker!


Japanese scientist: That way the planes will be able to attack from all sides
Taqwa: As opposed to those land-planes that can't attack from all sides..

Everyone is quoting Neon Genesis evangelion and I want to die.

Craig and I just had a simultaneous Zen KHAAAAAAN moment. Fucking awesome.

The 40,000 foot turtle just hid behind a rock.

That lighthouse was just 4 days from retirement.

Taqwa

*Gamera approaches a nuclear power plant*
Dan: The 13th angel has been sighted!
Rhys: I DON'T WANNA BE A PILOT ANYMORE!!

"If you get rid of that turtle, your father will buy you something."
Lucas: "Like a turtle. Ah, crap!"


"I'm a crappy second. It took me four swings to kill the last guy."

Geothermal power plant.
Geothermal power plant.
Geothermal power plant.
Geothermal power plant.
Geothermal power plant.
I win, Lucas.

We're missing half to the quips.

Lucas: "Drunken master 5: It's Getting Really Sad."

Daniel: Could this movie turn into the 7 Samurai? Oh, Samurai,Samurai, a giant turtle has destroyed my village! W have only rice to give you.

Dan: "Please tell me this turns into the Seven Samurai:

"Please, sir, please save our village from the giant turtle! We'll pay you in rice!""

Lucas has started with the "Meanwhile, in Movie B/C..." thing from the MST3K 'Pod People'.

It's surprisingly fitting. I don't want to break the news to him: As far as I remember, all the stupid little subplots to tie in together at some point. Unlike what happened in Pod People.

Lucas is now hiding some bread.

"On to Toronto, Alaska, Warsaw, then Vancouver."
Lucas: "He's drunk again!"

Taqwa

'Toysho, are you going to feed your turtle?'
'Father, could you come in here for a moment?'
Taqwa: Toysho, we're going to make soup out of your damned turtle!

Welcome to the Gamera Marathon 'transcript' thingy!

In attendance:

Craig
Dan
Ellen
Pete
Lucas
Charlotte
Rhys
and myself.

Once again blogging every witty quip made and every shot taken.

- Ted

Rhys: It's kind of ironic: a fire-breathing turtle.

Wait, what?

"He saw a giant turtle walking away!"
Lucas: "It's Molly Meldrum."

Gamera Marathon post 1

*Gamera is approaching a chip which tries to send out a SOS. They find all frequencies jammed*
Rhys: He's a frequency-jamming turtle!
Taqwa: Giant ATOMIC frequency-jamming turtle thankyouverymuch!

*"Eskimo" elder*
Craig: Enough of your technobabble Ghengis Khan!

Gamera!

Afer looking and searching we found Gamera, only to find the movie spelled his name Gammera.

BLOGGER ATE THIS THREE FUCKING TIMES.

First shot: Blue curacao, malibu, citrus vodka, triple sec, 151 rum then set ON FIRE.

Seconds & third shot: Vodka, creme de cacao, kahlua, milk, Aztec hot chocolate powder (with chilli and cinnamon). People wanted another round.

Adrian's drinking Spanish beer. Not Toohey's New. It's fuckin' wierd.

It's the Toohey's New of Spain.

Okay, so the Grindhouse idea got dethroned once Craig and Casey left. We're now watching an episode of Seinfeld in order to kill time while my iPod loads Rifftraxes. The Jagermeister is gone.

Adrian thinks Tanja's Vaio is sexy.

Rose named that kid two-socks.

MINI. GUN. LEG.

"No more dead bodies for daddy tonight."
Lucas: "Except that one."
Adrian: "And that. And that. And that."

Rockets just launch you into the air, They don't hurt you.

Unless you're a car. Then they set you on fire.

Logic has left the building.

She just blew on her gun-leg. Dooga missed it.

Craig: They could have saved ammo by movingtogether.
Adrian: Must you make sense?

Lucas: "You think you brought enough guns?"
Ted: "And where are my ribs?"
"Our helicopters can take all of us."
Lucas: "Except you, fatass."

Adrian: "What was that drippy thing? (coming out of Quentin Tarantino's pants)"
Lucas: "Jack's lack of cock."

Lucas: I just identified a bossa nova version of Too Drunk To Fuck. Does that makes me sad?

Tommy: "Oh, I could strangle her all night long. Is it strange that's the first place I go?"
Casey: "I love Bruce Willis. I'd love to have his baby."

"You don't look like Ava Garner no more."
Craig: "You look like Betty White's vagina!"

"Mexico. Put our backs against the ocean."
Lucas: "We have oceans in the states, dude!"

"You got something you want to say to me?"
Lucas: "I really liked Tron."

"If anyone comes to the door, you shoot them. Like in your video games."
Craig: "But you only bought me Tetris!"

Oh so very glad we finished the spaghetti before seeing this.

"And my turtle. And my scorpion. And my tarantula."
Lucas: "And Trumpy. And my Monstrosity."
Ted: "And my Beholder!"

Ted keeps quacking when Rose McGowan hops along.

"Would you leave it alone?"
Lucas "If you pick it, it won't heal!"

Lucas: "Nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse, doctor, nurse, ZOMBIE!" *stab*

"What are you going to do, bro?"
Craig: "I'm onna shoot dat bitch!"

We're hitting cliches on all cylinders, here. Guns, bikes, babes, and zombies.

So. Criag was just playing Air-therumin. Probably the most awesome thing ever.

- Ted

"Somebody call my wife."
Craig: "Tell her I said hello."

"That wan't a deer."
Ted: "It wasn't a deer, it's a moose!"
Lucas: "That ain't a bear, he's a wearin' a neck tie!

We just learned that the victm early on is Fergie.

Who knew? Casey knows things.

(Patient is sedated and drops like a stone)
Lucas: "NEXT!"

Casey says she once had dreams where her tongue bled and her teeth fell out.

Cool.

"Sounds like a go-go dancer."
Craig: "Better than a stop-stop dancer."

Ted: "I should be like El Wray. The ladies will be all upons."

Ted's forcing Malteasers on people.

"Palomita"
"I don't go by that name now."
Craig: "I'm more machine now than man."
Ted: "WO-man!"
"Didn't you become that doctor?"
Ted: "DoctorB! The B is for bargain!"

Lucas: "Bloody feet under running water. Tarantino must be jittering himself into a corner right now.

(El Wray turns up)
Craig: "Daylight come, and me wan' go home."

"sAVING LIVES, ARE YA?"
"nOW HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?"
Craig: "You're driving an ambulance!"

(Zombie is hanging on top of car)
Lucas "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SWITCH TO AT&T? OR A BIGPOND MOVIES TRIAL?"

(Naveen Andrew has ball-cutting scissors)
Craig:"Prepare to harvest the lower-horn!"

Lucas: (as Cherry) Oh, hi! I'm gratuitous!"

Heh heh

*Camera zoomed in on a strippers tits*
*Credits say 'The crazy babysitter twins'*

Me: Wow, I'd have done that on purpose.

It BEGINS!

Casey, Ted, Craig and I, after food and TikiBarTV, have just started Planet Terror. Happily we finished the red-sauce-pasta before the zombies showed up.

Watch this space!

Yet another marathon coming at you tomorrow!

Ted gave me an incredibly delayed "Chief? McCloud?" bit.

Left me hanging.

-Lucas

Ted: "That's so not my glass, but oh well."

Mother, Jugs, and speed...

...Gizmonics Institute.

Lucas: He's wearing a swan.

Ted: I wonder if that swan is comfortable. And has anti-rash cream,

Ted:

"Oh,fuck.I just tried to follow the plot of the film. Oh Jesus."

Casey left. The carpet gave her what-for. That probably means the train will kill her in some fashion.

-Lucas

And Then There Were Three...

...not including the TV, which would increase the number significantly to...


Five.

I mean four.

Craig, Tommy, Casey and Mel have left, leaving Lucas, Dooga and I. We're watching Cave Dwellers. I'll likely be leaving when it finishes. Damn having these things happening on a work-night!

=Ted

"If you can't find peace within, then..."
"Oh, shut up!"

Casey says that if she has a blanket over her head, she...

...would think it's night.

Casey says she probably totes should go homes

Ted thinks things that aren't proper....

Casey: Ted, stop touching me
Ted: What's touching?
Casey; not sure but i'm sure it's against the law
Ted: Ok sweet, I never say sweet but by the way, Casey is SWEET!!!!!!!










111

The End?

Awwww. Looks like this marathon might be winding down.

- Ted

Casey is ready to leave. She left Macauley Caulkin on the island.

It's ok. Kids love dinosaurs.

Ted likes to play with hair...

-from Casey.

There's this thing where Craig is at all sexual.

It's bad.

-Lucas

We just made Adrian blow up.

Casey's now fighting with Ryan. It's a gorram party.

Watching the scene that a horde of dinosaurs stampede the cast:

Adrian - "We were there at that log!"

Myself - "Were the dinosaurs there too? 'Coz they don't exist any mores, bro!"

-Ted

Casey is having her two cents. That is all. -Lucas

Lucas: Casey is doing kickboxing and poledancing at the same time. S'hot.

Casey - "I could totally go for a Lord Of The Rings marathon right now, you know"

Yeah...

- Ted

"Whoa, people are blogging to this thing more often than I thought they would"

- Me (Ted).

Lucas, as Dilophasaur "Hello, Newman. So I was walking down the street and I was handed these airline peanuts. I mean what is that?"

Casey: You're choking him
In the movie: You're choking me!
Lucas: SEE????

Wait, what?

Lucas: Second shot. Dark rum & passionfruit goop. Dig in.

I'm so drunk, I can't feel my scalp.

Oh, that's OK. Casey somehow restored the feeling to my noggin. Temporarily. heh.

- Ted

Slowly losing my mind on red wine of some sort. I think that I'm the only one watching the movie at this stage.

Also, Craig just made a Rhys-worthy racist joke. Not the funny kind, the Rhys kind. Got pwned by Lucas. He had it coming.

- Ted

Malanay

Mel: Random convo's to suit the random comments on the screen. We/they are talking absolute crap, especially work-related crap that has to do with something with the company I work for. I only know maths.

Casey just took a shot...

....of 151 rum.

And didn't die.

Farkin' hell.
-Lucas

Taqwa's Turn!

Mmmm It's the scene with the cow being fed to the raptors. Burger-riffic. Weird Al is great as a rifftrax commentator. Time to sign some waivers!

Lucas: Watching Hammond coddle a velociraptor into life is fuckin' scary.

Lucas: Wow. People are laughing at the special effects. And the compy jargon.

CAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...well, it's probably very quiet here, so I'll just bring up that I've learned that there were a few different versions of a (casey) Jurassic Park game - the one I played on the Master System (where you played Alan Grant, very, very boring) or the version Casey, Craig and Lucas have played, where you played as a velociraptor (seemingly a lot less boring). This probably explains why I always felt that I was given the short end of the stick as a kid. I can't believe that they'd release two versions of the same game. Must Wiki this later.

- Ted

Itchy and scratchy land jokes abound!


-Lucas

Tommy is impressed by a wine bottle that is square. Yeah.

"Shoot her!"
Lucas: "In Soviet Russia, raptor shoots you!"

Now watching...

...Rifftrax: Jurassic Park. Starring Wierd Al Yankovic.

Yeah baby.

We're now deciding on various Rifftrax go watch, having completed the MST3K moofie.

Next on the list by popular vote: Jurassic Park Rifftrax.

P.S: Casey.

That is all.

- Ted

Cone Of Silence

So, Lucas made us Ossobucco - it as the first time I willingly ate unprocessed red meat in a long time. Apparently everyone else liked it, too.

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this so far (I haven't been paying attention), but the last time we blogged on this here marathon blog, it was to immortalise our witty at-the-screen quips that came thick and fast - then, it was at the Lord Of The Rings Series, which was all well and good. Now, it's at Mystery Science Theatre, which is all about watching other people yell at the screen - people (and robots, for those who are not initiated) who are in possession of a great deal more wit than we could ever be.

This results in a lot less trash talking than previously anticipated.

- Ted

They're talking politics!

It's a fucking travesty!

(about a bubble wrap party)

adrian: I'd love to run around popping things at random.
lucas: That's been your entire adult life.
adrian: Well, not at random.

ok.

Lucas: It's been an hour and I'm sitting down for the first time. How dare I be a good host, cooking and cocktailing.

It begins! Again!

MST3K marathon at my place. Bring the wives.

In residence: Ted, Craig, Mel, Casey, Adrian, and myself with Tommy on the way.

Drinking now.