Balrog. Wasn't he a black boxer from Street Fighter 2?

*Balrog is tear-assing down the hall*
Boromir: What is this new devilry?
Lucas/Gandalf: An ex-girlfirend, actually.
Lucas/Balrog: WHY DIDN"'T YOU CALL, GANDALF! YOU LEFT YOUR ROBE AT MY PLACE AND DIDN'T COME BACK FOR IT!
Lucas/Gandalf: I meant to call, honey. Please believe me!
Lucas/Balrog: YOU WERE SO GOOD TO ME!
Lucas/Gandalf: I NEVER LIKED YOUR QUICHE, FLAME OF UNDUN!
Lucas/Balrog: *sob* You bastard! Why do you hurt me so?

***

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Lucas/Balrog: You don't own me, bitch!